“Love will travel as far as you let it, it has no limits” ~ Dee King
Long distance relationships(LDRs) are hard. Duh. They suck. I’ve only recently come to terms with this. The current status of my relationship is that I live in the grand ole ColoRADo and my boyfriend lives in the huge city of Houston, Texas and we are apart from each other over the summer. Being apart for a few months (with the occasional long weekend to see each other once-ish a month) is nothing like military relationships, s/o to you guys by the way, or other types of truly loonnggg distance relationships, but it still majorly sucks.
Neither of us had been in a long distance relationship before this so we didn’t quite know what to expect. We got advice from friends
and googled stuff about it too for a heads up on what was to come, but we certainly didn’t expect how difficult it really has been.
What I can tell you is that when I finally visited him for a long weekend, I took so many pictures and videos of him just doing random things (like simply picking out socks to wear) that I think he wanted to toss my phone in the trash after a while. But I couldn’t help it, I needed pictures of him that weren’t posed and I needed to accumulate those videos to remind me of his mannerisms and his voice and just the little memories of the trip. To be honest, after a few weeks, I can’t really remember how it feels to lay on his chest or how well his hand fits in mine, but with those videos I can remind myself of the way he laughs after he catches me videoing him meticulously inspecting his French fries before he eats them. Anything to make the hundreds of miles between us feel a little shorter is something I’m gonna do. It’s hard being in a long distance relationship. I doubt myself every day if I can survive it in one piece but I know that I wouldn’t be in this if he weren’t by far the most amazing man I have ever been with. Maybe we aren’t meant to be together and maybe we are, but either way I’m not letting the difficulty of distance determine our outcome prematurely.
What has helped me so far has been these little tips on how to survive long distance and cross the finish line smiling.
Please Don’t Forget Why You Started
You started this thing because the person you are with is someone that is worth the tears and the heartbreak of being apart for a period of time. Don’t let the span of distance let you forget that this hardship is only temporary.
Awe, I know. Snail mail. What a flashback.
Before writing long distance love letters I swear I forgot how to address an envelope.They really are awesome little surprises to find on your doorstep and sending them is just as fun. For me,receiving a letter is like having a little piece of him with me.
Talk as Much as Possible (Every Day)
Some people don’t agree with this idea because they find it to be somewhat of a painful reminder of their partners absence when they are constantly talking or texting. For me personally though, looking forward to a phone call almost every night helps me power through the day with a more positive attitude. It doesn’t have to be a long call, even just a calling to say goodnight instead of texting it is a great way to feel closer.
Plan Your Visits ASAP
I am pretty sure I would say this is my second best tip, if not number 1, as far as helping yourself get through the time apart. Just knowing that I have a countdown going that marks the exact date I get to see my boyfriend next, instead of this awkward “approximate” date that isn’t really confirmed, is a tremendous relief. It helps me divide up the time we have left into smaller, more manageable increments when there are little mile markers in between where I am able to see him.
Make Bets or Just Play Phone Games
What my boyfriend and I like to do is make bets and play partner games on our iphones, or other little things that help us feel connected. We love making bets on sports we both watch, like the NBA finals (I lost), on who can go the longest doing something(like working out every day), or on who will win the current Words With Friends game we are playing (I usually lose that too). It is a simple way for us to stay connected in ways other than just texting about our days or calling at night.
Find a Couples App
This one I didn’t even think of until I saw something about it online, but it has been such an amazing tool for me. There is this app out there called Couple that is literally just an app for two people. You can send pictures to each other, draw pictures, make lists between the two of you, and even thumbkiss! Yes, thumbkiss. It sounds incredibly corny but when thumbkissing is all you’ve got, you learn to love it really quick.
Overall, long distance is by far one of the hardest things I have gone through, especially relationship-wise, but when you have hope and remember the wonderful person you are doing it for, it helps you to get to the finish line so much quicker.